Independence Day has renewed my aversion to country music. Small town festivals get the country bands, the bad rock cover bands, the many-voice singing groups, to perform at their big to-do. All I can say is UGH! STOP!! Bleh! Gimme a beer! Country music makes me depressed and want beer. Nevermind the multitudes of fat people, young people with attitudes, if you accidently graze past them with your eyes. You are not cool enough to look at me!! I hope I was not like that as a kid, matter of fact, I seriously doubt it, I was never cool. I was a nerd, geek through and through. I was lucky not to be laughed at constantly. But that is another story.

Hometown festivals can be fun, I guess, if you're into that sort of thing. Thankfully, they are better than most county fairs - no cows. There were pony rides though, poor ponies! My little 16 month old cousin was not happy with it, but she was fascinated by the pony behind the one she was riding. She discovered the joys of cotton candy, clutching one piece in one hand, reaching to Mom for another with the other hand. Kids = walking sugar rush. It was a nice time, got to see some of the family, walk around outside, get my feet dusty, watch idiots launch aerial fireworks in trailerparks. Dumbasses!

Reading now has melted into Heroes Die for the second time around. I have a couple other pap fantasy novels to read, but needed something more substantial for the moment.

I'm again questioning my reasoning for wanting to continue writing. Sometimes I just think I should drop it. Sometimes I think I can't drop it. I am a Jill of all trades, master of none. Oh how true this is! I can do a little with a lot of things, but I just can't seem to find one thing that I love to do, that I'm actually good enough at to pursue seriously. Sure, I can draw, sure, I can write, photograph, do graphic design, web design, but I feel like nothing I do is good enough to pursue as a career goal, or serious hobby. There is always someone, even people I know, who are so much better at things I do, that I think, why bother anymore. Why should I try? What's in it if I do? What will I miss if I don't try? Sometimes I just don't want to do a damn thing.